You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize