why didn't you poke me back
tell your sister to shave her snatch
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
