yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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