Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
