Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
