Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
