i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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