i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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