We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i love accidental penises.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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