Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
just found out that she named her cat after me.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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