i was born a porn star she said
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize