jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
