dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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