hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
