I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
