Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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