does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
