Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
