Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
FUCK WHALES
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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