ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
