i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
