it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
