you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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