Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
