That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
