Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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