GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
