i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
