so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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