Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
