you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
