"it" just moved
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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