How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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