currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
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