Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
