Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Too much gin, very little bucket
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
