Your tits are I can't wait for
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We're too hungover to prance.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
