Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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