I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
