I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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