I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
