You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
