At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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