your room smells of hookers.
And success
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
