i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
