Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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