based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
