would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The uberlube is also flammable
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
