He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize