Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
