I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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