yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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