therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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