Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize