For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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