ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
