Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
