Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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