We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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