omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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